My blog is to help people feel and look their best and be the best they can be. With that, this post is to help you bring your best foot forward, improve your confidence, grow, be creative and establish higher standards for yourself. When it comes to dating and looking at a 360 view, you want to not only prepare yourself for dating, but also prepare your apartment (or home etc.) for dating. In other words, bring it up to speed for your potential partner.
Now this post is not just for those who are dating, it can be helpful even if you are not dating. Perhaps you know a friend, family member, your kids etc., who may learn or benefit from this post. Regardless, you can make changes to your apartment for you.
Before we get started, my main goal is to help bring forth new thoughts, improvements, see things through a new lens and motivate you to make some changes, even if they are small. This post is meant to help, not judge and bring to light an important topic that you may not see or believe to be important or perhaps not put much thought toward. Everything you do is important and it is always good to learn, grow, change or perhaps get out of a rut.
So let’s get started.
First, I want you to take a fresh look at your place and be honest with yourself what you see. If you have a pretty cool apartment and have it furnished it to the best of your ability within your budget, that is amazing! However, if it has been awhile (or not at all) that you have made upgrades or changes, there is no better time than now!
Ask yourself these 10 questions:
1. Does your apartment showcase that you are ready for a serious, mature relationship?
2. Does your apartment, furniture and other items give a good impression?
3. Is your apartment ready to have a man or a women in your life who would feel comfortable and spend a lot of time there ie: is there ‘room’ for them?
4. Is your apartment unkempt, neglected, worn, dirty or distinctively out of style?
5. Would your date be pleasantly surprised and impressed by your apartment, or shocked and disappointed?
6. Is the cleanliness up to standards for yourself and guests?
7. Are you still sporting furniture from your dorm years and lacking cohesiveness or your current personality?
8. Is it too bachelor or too girly or too young or too mature (your grandma’s taste)?
9. Is the furniture not real furniture but makeshift furniture ie: milk carton crates for tables or plastic storage containers for dressers?
10. Is your apartment stocked with basic essentials for entertaining a date?
Now…how did these questions go? Did any of them put forth a thought of discovery or where you realized there is area for improvement?
The Goal:
The goal is to have your apartment gender neutral.
Then, if you are a female, add in an element of a female touch. If you are a male, add in an element of a male touch. It is also fine to add in a mix of either no matter your gender, the main goal is to try to stay within the guidelines of gender neutral.
Now some of you may disagree with me and say, it’s my place and I am a female and I live there 24/7, if I want it girly, I’ll have it girly! And the same could be said from a male perspective to have it manly. And yes, while that is absolutely your prerogative, you have to realize then, that if it is the opposite gender you wish to date, they may not feel comfortable in your place.
For example, and not to imply anything, but I can’t help but think of a scenario where you have peach bed sheets with flowers. Would a male be comfortable waking up in the bright morning in that? Or conversely if you have blue flannel sheets with stripes. Would a female believe you are ready for a mature relationship waking up in that?
Again the goal, be prepared with neutral options. Plus if you are looking for a serious, adult relationship, you want your apartment to look like an adult apartment. If your apartment is anything but that, you will not give the impression that you are ready for a serious relationship, even if that is your intention.
Do it on your own:
It does not make sense to ‘wait’ to be in a relationship before having a nice place. You don’t have to wait for a partner in order to make decisions on furniture or style. Yes, granted, people have different tastes so you may be worried about buying furniture that your future relation does not agree with. However, with Ikea, HomeSense, Craigslist or Kajiji etc., it is doable to upgrade and make changes affordably. You may need to make peace with the fact that there is a chance your furniture will have to be replaced, however, if you stick to neutrality, it is much safer and cost efficient. Worst case scenario, you can sell it. It is important to show you are mature, stable and interested in making your date feel comfortable.
Final Thoughts
It is ok when you are young to take hand-me-downs from family and friends. However, when you reach a certain age or stage in life, you want to have a place that reflects confidence, style and your personality. Please keep it clean, if you are not good at cleaning, hire a young person in your community who would like to earn some extra money.
If you want to impress, then impress. It is not about being boastful but feeling confident about yourself and your surroundings and that is a good feeling. A clean, nice apartment is important. You don’t have to spend a lot, it just takes care and effort.
Part II will be apartment Do’s and Don’ts coming next.
All the best and until next time…
